


If you let me down, let me down slow

by tomlinsoned



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Kid Fic, M/M, Single Parent Harry Styles, Single Parent Louis Tomlinson, Single Parents, i know this is pretty cliché but, i love cliche, i was feeling down so i decided to translate my own fic ? as one does ??, there's a lot of kid content because i want a BABY, this is super cheesy !
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-30
Updated: 2019-12-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:41:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22032718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tomlinsoned/pseuds/tomlinsoned
Summary: Louis's and Harry's daughters meet at school, and that's how it starts
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Comments: 8
Kudos: 149





	If you let me down, let me down slow

**Author's Note:**

> hi! soooo I wrote this ages ago in russian but then reread it and kind of wanted to translate it so.. I translated my own fic into english? I hope you like it!! *happy new year by abba plays in the background*

Louis loves the start of the month, adores it even, because all his paperwork is done, all deadlines are met and he has time for himself, for his home, for his daughter.  
  
He slowly walks up to the school gates, enters the building while turning off his music and putting away his headphones and follows the other parents. It feels good to pick Annie up when it’s still light outside and all the other kids are also going home (he hates picking her up in the evenings when there’re only a couple of other unfortunate kids left beside her and she’s looking at him like she was ready to just spend the night there. He hates it). When Louis enters, Annie is laughing at something with another girl, gesturing wildly and explaining something to her. When he calls his daughter’s name softly, she turns to him, wide smile adorning her face, and runs into his arms, hugs him tightly and whispers that she’s missed him. Louis really, really loves his baby.  
  
Annie breaks the hug and jumps up and down excitedly, tugging at her father’s hand.  
  
“Dad! Daddy! Meet Mer! She’s my best friend!” Annie runs back to the girl and tugs her in Louis’s direction. Louis has never seen this kid before in his life, and not for the first time he wonders how his daughter manages to connect with new people so quickly.  
  
“Hello Mer,” he greets the girl gently, sitting on his haunches and extending his hand.  
  
“Hello,” she whispers and smiles at him, takes two of his fingers in her small palm and shakes them. Before Louis has time to say anything else he notices a shadow approaching them and then there’s another person sitting down next to him.  
  
“Hey Mer,” the person drawls out softly and Louis looks up and freezes, looks over the boy sitting next to him and reaching out his arms towards the girl. She squeals “Papa!” and hugs him around the neck, holds onto his hair and cuddles in closer.  
  
“How was your day?” he asks so quietly Louis barely hears. Mer says something back and the boy chuckles, his voice especially low and husky, and Louis forgets to breathe for a second.  
  
“Hi,” the boy suddenly smiles at Louis and there are crinkles by his eyes and fucking dimples on his cheeks.  
  
“Hi,” Louis answers and nods. Life is fucking unfair.  
  
They both stand up, holding their girls’ hands, and the boy extends his free palm and introduces himself.  
  
“Harry.”  
  
Louis shakes his hand and nods again, unable to stop staring at his smile.  
  
“Louis.”  
  
“And I’m Annie!” his baby exclaims, turning all attention to herself, and he chuckles, shrugging at Harry, whose eyes are sparkling like he completely understands. Harry hunches down again and shakes Annie’s hand just like Louis did Mer’s.  
  
“It’s a pleasure, m’lady.”  
  
Annie giggles and curtsies playfully, then lets go of Harry’s fingers, takes Mer by the elbow and runs to the changing room, giggling loudly.  
  
“You have a beautiful daughter,” Harry comments softly and gives Louis such a small and private smile, and his eyes are sparkling underneath his windswept fringe, and Louis wants to run away because he definitely wasn’t ready to run into pretty boys who treat his daughter so gently and smile at him with goddamned dimples today.  
  
“Thank you,” he whispers and clears his throat, messes with his hair and tries to get himself out of this daze, tries to stop staring into green eyes sparkling with stars, but Harry tilts his head and blinks so slowly it seems like everything is in slow motion, and Louis is basically powerless. He manages to add, “you too.”  
  
Harry doesn’t seem to hear him, just looks at him so intently like he is examining Louis’s face, memorizing, absorbing. Louis feels warm all over, breathing becoming more difficult like all the air was sucked out of the small hallway they are in, and he doesn’t want to move, nor does he feel like he is able to.  
  
The spell is broken when Annie drawls out a long “Da-a-ad” and two girls run down the wooden staircase, and the door slams shut. Suddenly Louis feels like Harry is several miles away from him when he reopens the door and lets Louis walk out first.

***

Later, when Annie and Mer are playing a game only they understand and Louis and Harry are sitting together near the playground and watching them, Harry pulls a small bag of gummy bears out of his backpack and holds it out to Louis.  
  
“Helps to maintain the energy and keep up with the kids,” he explains, finds a red gummy bear and chews it slowly without looking at Louis.  
  
And Louis- He takes a couple of jellies and examines Harry discreetly, looks over his strong features, his bright eyes and his crazy hair and thinks that, had they met under different circumstances, without the kids and the responsibilities and the serious adult life stuff, Harry would’ve been the guy Louis would’ve approached. Would’ve gotten his number, invited him for coffee and kissed him on the porch so sweetly his legs would’ve turned to jelly.  
  
But Louis has a daughter, who he loves with all his being, and he knows from experience that pretty boys don’t really need single dads with kid’s meals, and kid’s clothes, and school activities on their mind. Louis would never exchange his girl for anything anyway.  
  
And Harry. Harry has a beautiful daughter, and probably a gorgeous wife, and he seems like such a great dad, and it would be so naïve to believe Harry is even interested in men, let alone Louis, but- but Louis is stupid, and naïve, and Harry is so fascinating and appealing that Louis doesn’t stand a chance.  
  
Life really is fucking unfair.  
  
“I’ve never seen you and Mer around here. Did you just move?” he asks, surprising even himself but also glad to have the distraction.  
  
Harry mumbles something incomprehensible, then swallows his gummy bear and turns his body to Louis slightly.  
  
“No, we’ve lived here as long as I remember. Mer went to a different school, but it got closed, so we transferred her here,” he answers.  
  
Louis hums with understanding, nods and can’t stop wondering what Harry means when he says _‘we’_.  
  
His thoughts are interrupted when the girls run up to them, out of breath and wide smiles on their faces.  
  
“Papa, can we have some gummy bears?” Mer asks, and Harry just lifts his eyebrow in question, and the girl giggles gently, lowers her eyes and then looks at him again hopefully, adds, “pretty please?”  
  
“That’s better,” Harry nods and his face softens immediately, “you can have three because your lunch is waiting for you at home. Okay, baby?”  
  
The girl nods, pleased, and takes three gummy bears out of the bag. Louis turns his eyes to his own daughter, and her face is saying it all. He smiles and nods.  
  
“You can have three as well, honey”.  
  
Annie smiles widely, eats all three jellies at the same time and mumbles something resembling a thank you. Mer does as well, and they run back to the swings.  
  
“What about you? Have you always gone here?” Harry continues, and they start discussing schools, and at a certain point Louis thinks that this is… nice. Maybe he needs a friend, just a friend his age who he can talk about schools and kid’s clothes with, who can give him advice on how to braid long hair and how to choose the right afterschool activities and how to just do a good job at raising a kid at such a young age.  
  
They part ways half an hour later, and Harry even hugs Louis goodbye, and they definitely could be friends.  
  
Walking home, Louis still thinks about how nice it would be to tangle his fingers in Harry’s hair, and how deliciously tight Harry’s thin t-shirt was, and how soft his lips looked.  
  
But nobody needs to know about that.

***

Louis doesn’t see Harry for the next couple of days – he picks Annie up later, when Mer has already gone home, and he tries not to think about it constantly, tries not to let hope bloom in his chest every time he heads to the school.  
  
Life goes back to normal, he and Annie are still the dream team, and his daughter continues to surprise him with new discoveries, new questions, new skills and interests every day. They go for walks after school, play at home, do homework, watch cartoons and go to bed early, and everything is good.  
  
On Thursday Louis enters the school as usual, goes up the familiar stairs, pulls open the metal door and calls his daughter’s name when he stops by the right class.  
  
There, right by the door, is Mer, and in front of her a young woman with bright red hair is sitting on her haunches, trying to zip up the girl’s jacket. Louis figures this must be her mother, and it gets a little harder to breathe.  
  
Annie squeals a loud “Daddy!” at the same time as Mer exclaims “Louis!” and both girls run up to him, hugging him around the legs and giggling. The young woman looks Louis over, confusion clear on her face, and he introduces himself and extends his hand with a wide smile.  
  
“Louis. I know Harry? We played with the girls on the playground a couple of days ago,” he explains, and her face clears up. She grins, and her smile reminds him of Harry, and Louis must admit she is really pretty herself, all thick hair and soft features, gorgeous body and kind eyes. And Louis hates the fact that in his spare time he thinks dirty things about this beautiful woman’s partner.  
  
“Gemma,” she introduces herself back and shakes the hand extended to her, “Harry mentioned you”. She nods and bends down again to fix her daughter’s clothes. Louis doesn’t want to imagine what Harry mentioned about him – to the mother of his child, out of all people – so he picks Annie up and asks her about her day while he absentmindedly collects her things.  
  
They say goodbye to Gemma and Mer, who are late to some meeting. Mer hugs him, her nose against his neck, whispers “You smell good” and runs over to her mother.  
  
Louis laughs, takes Annie’s hand and they wave at Gemma’s car driving away, then go home, and Louis isn’t thinking, absolutely isn’t thinking about Harry’s wonderful family, Harry’s beautiful wife and how much he would like to take Harry’s shirt off and hold him close and… _He isn’t thinking_.

***

Louis doesn’t see Harry until Monday, and when he enters the school gates and sees the familiar figure with a mess of curls, he hopes that because of such a long break his temporary insanity has passed and his thoughts and feelings have calmed down.  
  
All his hopes, however, are shattered as soon as he steps close enough to hear Mer’s gleeful mumbling and see Harry’s sparkling eyes look up from his daughter, and Louis _can’t breathe again_.  
  
It’s like Harry is radiating light and heat, like he’s glowing, standing there in front of Louis, his long legs covered in blue jeans, thin white shirt pulled down at the neck by dark sunglasses, not leaving practically anything to the imagination.  
  
“Louis!” Harry exclaims with a wide smile.  
  
“Loui-i-is!” Mer repeats, interrupting her story, and runs to Louis, smiling with all her teeth showing, reaching her hands out to him. Louis picks the girl up, spins her around and hugs her close, greeting her quietly and putting her back down. Mer giggles and runs back to her father, yanks on his shirt and whispers, theatrically loud, “papa, Louis smells so good!”  
  
Louis laughs and bites his lip, shakes his head and shrugs innocently.  
  
“Hey, Harry,” he adds and extends his hand, but the boy looks at it with slight confusion and then pulls him forward, hugging him with one arm around his waist, strokes his wide warm palm up Louis’s spine, and Louis can feel the warmth of his body on his front and the fire of his palm on his back, and he thinks that a second longer and he will get burned.  
  
“Hey,” Harry answers softly right next to his ear, and then whispers even quieter, “you really do smell good”.  
  
He steps back, lifts a corner of his sinful lips and turns back to his daughter.  
  
Louis breathes out abruptly and chuckles to himself, lowering his head and trying to hide the blush making its way up his neck.  
  
“I’m going to get Annie,” he says and flees inside the school building without waiting for a reaction.  
  
His daughter is waiting for him on a bench in the hallway, all her stuff already inside her blue backpack and her street shoes haphazardly buttoned. As soon as she sees him, her bored expression transforms into a wide smile, she jumps up from her seat, exclaims “Daddy!” and, after hugging him quickly, she takes his hand and tugs him back outside.  
  
“Daddy, let’s go, faster, daddy!”  
  
Louis follows his kid obediently and notices her sigh of relief when she sees Mer. Annie tugs him even harder in Harry and Mer’s direction, and when they are close, she asks loudly, “Daddy, can Mer and Harry come over to our place today? Pretty please?”  
  
She lifts her eyebrows and pouts her lips, and Louis can never say no to that face. Annie knows it too well. Sometimes Louis is shocked how much Annie actually is _his daughter_.  
  
“Baby, I’m afraid it’s not just up to me,” he says softly.  
  
The girl nods immediately and turns around, makes the face again and repeats, “Harry, can you and Mer come over to our place today? Pretty please?”  
  
Louis hides his laugh behind his palm, and it seems like Harry is trying to muffle his giggles as well.  
  
“If your dad doesn’t have anything against it, then sure, darling,” he says tenderly, bending down to be closer in height to Annie and looking at her so fondly like he loves her as much as he loves Mer.  
  
Louis’s heart stops for a second, and he bites down on his lip, looks away and clears his throat, trying to keep breathing and to stop thinking about pretty boys with gentle smiles turned towards his daughter. He thinks about Gemma, beautiful, wonderful Gemma, who this boy really belongs to.  
  
“Daddy?” Annie asks quietly, and Louis shrugs off his thoughts and notices three pairs of eyes looking at him.  
  
“I don’t mind, petal. Of course, Harry and Mer can come over”.  
  
Annie squeals and hugs his neck tightly, kisses his cheek, laughs right into his ear and lets him go just as quickly, running away with Mer.  
  
Louis smiles, watching her, and makes himself remember what his priorities are.  
  
He nods at Harry curtly and follows the girls, feeling the warmth of another body next to him and shoving his hands in his jeans pockets to make sure not to reach out, not to touch.  
  
The feeling like his chest is still caught in a vice doesn’t go away but… nobody needs to know about that.

***

When they arrive, the girls run away to Annie’s room right away, and Harry and Louis are left alone. Louis pours them both some juice and starts cooking the kids lunch while Harry helps – cuts the vegetables, stirs the sauces in the pan, checks the oven. It’s nice, Louis thinks. It’s nice to have someone other than his daughter or his mum to help out in the kitchen. Louis can’t remember the last time he cooked with anyone other than those two.  
  
Harry tells him some of the tricks they use to have Mer eat all of her vegetables, and how they try not to give her too many sweets, and what her favourite foods are, and how she’s always present in the kitchen but never agrees to help cook (she only tries everything they give her, Harry says with a smile. Louis laughs).  
  
When the kids are fed and playing in the living room, the dishes are washed and stocked, Louis makes Harry and himself some tea.  
  
“Mer is short for Meredith?” he asks over his shoulder, noticing how Harry’s eyes light up at the mention of his daughter. Louis smiles and makes himself remember that the girl has a mother. Mer has Gemma. Harry has Gemma.  
  
“Merion”, Harry corrects and takes a sip of his tea, then asks in return, “Annie?”  
  
“Annette,” Louis explains, wiping down the counter with a towel just to make himself busy.  
  
Harry hums into his cup, smiling eyes peeking out from behind the pottery, and Louis wants to keep him forever. Wants to come closer and peck his nose. Wants to mess up his hair, hug him from behind, kiss his wet lips, taste the tea on his tongue, touch his fingers, examine his rings, feel the metal on his skin when those wide palms stroke his back. He wants, wants, wants, and the vice gets tighter, and breathing gets harder, and… And he makes himself turn away.  
  
They’re quiet for a moment, Harry drinks his tea, and Louis pretends to put the utensils in order while actually just moving them from one place to another and keeps thinking about those smiling eyes. It’s Harry who breaks the silence.  
  
“Hey,” he clears his throat, and Louis turns to face him, leans on the counter, nods, “listen, it’s probably none of my business, and you definitely don’t have to answer, but… Is it just you and Annie? Are you raising her alone?”  
  
Louis just looks at Harry for a couple of seconds, sees the interest in his eyes complete with sincere worry, and it makes Louis’s heart stop once again.  
  
“Yeah, I’m alone. Her mum left right after Annie was born, so I’ve always been alone,” he smiles modestly and shrugs, lowers his eyes and waits.  
  
“Oh,” is all Harry says, and Louis hates this part, hates the pity, the judgement, the confusion. They have a good life with Annie. He did everything in his power to make sure his daughter was living in great conditions, and to this moment he, in his humble opinion, has raised an incredible child. They never needed anyone else.  
  
“You did an amazing job, Lou,” Harry adds quietly, and his voice is full of genuine tenderness and so much appreciation that Louis lifts his head sharply and is suddenly met with sparkling green eyes that have come so close – he was obviously too lost in thought and missed Harry going around the kitchen island.  
  
Harry looks at him openly and clearly, and Louis can’t avert his eyes, it seems to him like there’s no air between them, and Harry is so close, and Louis wantswantswants, wants more than ever, and Harry is _close_ , he’s right here, and Louis feels the warmth of his body, sees every eyelash, every freckle, every curve of his lips, and fuck, he’s looking at his lips, half open just for him, warm breath reaches his own mouth, and Harry is so goddamn close, closer and closer, and…  
  
“Da-a-ad!”  
  
Louis almost jumps, bangs into the counter, stepping back from Harry, and his eyes must look mad, but he is purposefully not looking at Harry because damn, _what the fuck just happened_ , and his daughter is calling for him, and he needs to immediately, urgently increase the distance between them.  
  
Louis takes a couple of quick steps to reach the living room where Annie and Mer are sprawled out on the soft couch, almost sinking behind the bottom cushion, holding the TV remote.  
  
“Can we watch cartoons, please?” Annie asks, and both girls are looking at him with their pouty faces on.  
  
“Sure, honey,” he croaks out, then clears his throat, takes the remote and pulls up the menu with her favourite cartoons.  
  
“Thank you, daddy!” she sings loudly and starts telling Mer all about her beloved characters.  
  
Louis watches them for some time, unable to untangle his own thoughts and feelings. A minute later Harry steps into the room, his unfinished cup of tea in his hand and a small smile on his lips. He looks Louis over and smiles at him a little bit wider, although still tightly, falls into the couch next to his daughter and hugs her with one arm.  
  
“Well, let’s watch some cartoons, shall we?” he says enthusiastically, and the girls respond with as much joy, not tearing their eyes off the screen.  
  
Louis seats down on the other side of the kids and makes himself get into the animated story and forget about everything else.

When it starts getting darker, Harry tells Mer it’s time to go home, and the girl agrees quietly, collects her things, says goodbye to Annie and hugs Louis around his neck, pats his head with her small palm and smiles into his shoulder, then runs outside and gets onto the swing in their yard, starting to sway her legs.  
  
Annie has already fled to her room, and Louis feels extremely uncomfortable left alone with Harry in the hallway lit up only by the dim light of the setting sun. Orange tones are reflected in Harry’s eyes, making them golden. Louis looks down.  
  
“See you soon, Lou?” the nickname rolls off Harry’s lips so gently that Louis shivers, lifts his eyes and nods, smiling with the corners of his lips.  
  
“Definitely.”  
  
They look at each other for a couple of seconds, then Harry nods, too, hugs Louis quickly and disappears out the door.  
  
Louis breathes out shakily and rubs his eyes. _Damn those pretty boys_.

***

The next day Louis hangs around at work, finishes the contract, rechecks the data several times, cleans up his table – does whatever to avoid meeting Harry at the school. And, fuck, it’s so stupid, and Louis hates the fact that Harry already has such influence on him after just a week and that Annie has to wait for him longer just because her father can’t deal with the stupid fire in his chest. Stupid, stupid, _stupid_.  
  
When Louis finally stops by Annie’s class, the first thing he sees is Harry sitting on the floor in front of Annie and Mer and some toys. His hair is covering his face, his t-shirt has rolled up on his back, exposing his light skin, and his long fingers are holding a figurine of a cartoon character. He’s saying something, making is voice thinner and higher, and the girls are laughing so hard they’re barely breathing.  
  
Louis watches them for a while, imagines what it would be like to come home after work and see something like this, kiss the curly head, hug the kids and join the game. Make dinner and hot chocolate for the family, cover himself with a thick blanket and put on a family movie. Cuddle with the beautiful boy, get the kids on their laps and melt in the warmth, the love, the family.  
  
He shakes his head, chasing the image away, and walks farther into the room, Annie notices him, screams “Daddy!” and runs to hug him. Mer joins her immediately, and he flexes his muscles and lifts both girls in his arms, smiling at them so widely his cheeks hurt. They tell him about the pictures they painted in class today, and Louis nods and hums in all the right places while also watching Harry clumsily get up off the floor, dust off his jeans and push his messy hair away from his face, then lift his gaze to meet Louis’s eyes and smile, mouthing a soft hello and coming closer.  
  
He takes Mer from Louis and puts his daughter back down, and both girls run away to change, while Harry ties his shoelaces.  
  
When they come outside, the girls head to the playground, and Harry slows down and turns his head to Louis.  
  
“I wanted to apologize?” he starts, almost asking for permission, and Louis frowns, “for yesterday? I crossed a line, and I shouldn’t have- It was wrong of me, and, well, I’m sorry”.  
  
Louis isn’t looking at him, eyes trained on the concrete beneath his feet, and his head is buzzing with thoughts, with images of Gemma, beautiful Gemma, and Mer, her and Harry’s daughter.  
  
“It’s alright,” he croaks out eventually, lifts his gaze and smiles as sincerely as he can, sees Harry’s eyes examine his face, “it happens”.  
  
He seats on the bench, takes out his phone and starts thumbing through some news. Harry nods at nothing and seats next to him, and everything is fine. Harry has Gemma, they have a daughter, and Louis needs to stop dreaming about big hands, sparkling eyes and soft curls, stop imagining a warm body in his bed, long fingers intertwining with his, husky voice waking him up in the mornings and a gentle smile with dimples shining at him.  
  
It’s fine.  
  
His heart seems to have shrinked to a size too small to survive. But nobody will know about that.

***

Ideally, Louis should cut all ties with Harry, let himself get over him and allow things to get back to normal. But his daughter doesn’t seem to imagine her life without Harry’s daughter, so Louis doesn’t have a choice other than make all of her wishes come true.  
  
That’s why they go to the park together every weekend, visit the cafe together and eat ice-cream, take walks together after school when Louis doesn’t pick Annie up too late, and everything is fine. They make small talk, laugh at their little girls’ antics, and they are possibly friends.  
  
Louis still stares at Harry’s profile for too long, can’t look away from his hands lying on the table, stops himself from covering Harry’s big palms with his own hands. He stops breathing when Harry licks the running ice-cream off his cone, can’t avert his eyes from Harry’s skin showing between his t-shirt and jeans when he lifts Mer up over his head.  
  
Sometimes Louis catches Harry’s gaze – attentive, searching, focused on him. As soon as their eyes meet, Harry looks away, and Louis doesn’t know what it means. But it’s fine.

Louis gets his salary at the end of the month and gets Annie the dollhouse she’s been asking for for ages. Annie obviously invites Mer over to play.

That’s how all over again Louis finds himself in his kitchen with Harry leaning on the counter with the same blue cup in his hands. He’s smiling widely at something Louis’s said, and Louis can’t even remember what it was because Harry looks down into his cup, his fringe covering his eyes, his cheeks slightly blushed from laughing, his long fingers encompassing the pottery completely, and he’s so soft, so homey, and Louis feels a lump in his throat from the breathtaking view.  
  
Harry notices the silence and lifts his gaze, examines Louis’s wide eyes and half-open mouth and just looks. The air seems thick, dense between them when Harry pushes away from the counter and takes a step towards Louis, putting his cup on the marble surface.  
  
Louis swallows and kicks himself mentally for letting the first Kitchen Incident happen again, but he can’t do anything about it, just looks into those sparkling eyes and tightens his hands around his cup of tea, stopping himself from reaching out to Harry.  
  
Harry takes his cup, their fingers touching, and puts it away, takes another step forward, and now there’s almost no space between them.  
  
“Harry,” Louis exhales sharply, and when Harry lowers his eyes to look at his lips, he just stares at him and doesn’t understand. Doesn’t understand what Harry’s doing and why, doesn’t understand how to stop it, doesn’t understand how to make himself step away, push him away, object. Doesn’t understand why he doesn’t want any of this to end.  
  
He sees Harry lick his lips, swallow and move closer, his warmth burning Louis, and his face is suddenly so close, and Louis can’t breathe, and all of this is so wrong, and Louis can’t.  
  
“Harry, no,” he whispers, and Harry flinches back, just a little bit, but enough to look into Louis’s eyes, and Louis sees a mix of hurt and confusion on his face, and life is so fucking unfair. He adds, “what about Mer?”  
  
Harry frowns and shakes his head.  
  
“What about Mer?”  
  
Louis exhales again and lowers his gaze, then looks at Harry again.  
  
“You have a wife, Harry,” he elaborates, “or girlfriend?”  
  
“What?” Harry manages to mumble, but Louis isn’t listening, continues quickly, stumbling over his words.  
  
“I don’t know, and I also don’t know why you’re doing this, but this is wrong, and we need to stop, and I can’t-“  
  
“A wife?” Harry interrupts him and looks at him with such bewilderment that his eyebrows are almost touching.  
  
“Gemma,” Louis whispers, and thinking about her is so painful right now, and-  
  
Suddenly Harry huffs out a laugh, his smile mixed with doubt, and now Louis is the one frowning, and his chest hurts from all these emotions.  
  
“Gemma is my sister,” Harry explains slowly, looking into Louis’s eyes and awaiting his reaction.  
  
And Louis- Louis is looking at him. brows still furrowed, thoughts completely mixed up in his head and not making any sense, and _Gemma is his sister_.  
  
“You. You fucking-“  
  
Louis doesn’t finish, just tugs Harry closer by his t-shirt and kisses him, hugs him with one hand around his waist, the other getting lost in his long hair, and Harry just exhales right into Louis’s lips, tugs him closer and responds, and Louis forgets everything, kisses so roughly and deeply, tastes the tea on his tongue, squeezes his hair in his fist, pushing a needy whine out of Harry, and absorbs his heat.  
  
When they break apart, Harry’s lips look unnaturally red, and Louis can’t breathe properly.  
  
“What the fuck?” Louis whispers and squeezes Harry’s hip, looks at his lips and wants to kiss them again.  
  
Harry just laughs, his dimples teasing Louis’s frazzled mind.  
  
“I can’t believe you really thought Gemma was my wife.”  
  
“Shut up,” Louis giggles and leaves a quick peck on Harry’s lips, “so you’re raising Mer alone, too?”  
  
Harry just nods and pulls the boy closer, the kiss turning sweet and slow, soft this time, their hands wandering over each other’s bodies, getting acquainted with the new feelings, tugging closer and closer, and Louis is burning.  
  
Harry turns them so that Louis’s back bumps the cupboard, and air becomes even hotter when Harry lifts the boy up onto the counter, steps between his legs and deepens the kiss, his hands getting under his t-shirt, scratching the skin with blunt nails, pulling so close Louis is suffocating.  
  
“Kids,” he moans, pushing Harry away begrudgingly before the kiss turns into something more. Harry nods and swallows, studies Louis with mad eyes from top to bottom and back, pulls his t-shirt down and fixes his hair.  
  
Louis jumps off the counter, clears his throat and gets himself in order, and they both giggle when they start making tea and pulling sweets out of the fridge just to keep themselves distracted and busy.  
  
They come up to Annie’s room to get the girls, but they’re both lying on the floor and sleeping soundly, hugging soft toys, with the dollhouse in complete disarray.  
  
Louis turns to Harry and sees him smile gently at their daughters, and Louis’s heart constricts, but this feeling is so different from what he’s been experiencing before – this time he can’t contain all of the fondness caused by this boy, can’t contain the adoration and the desire to touch.  
  
So, he touches, caresses Harry’s hand with his palm, intertwines their hands, and Harry smiles at him just as sweetly, and Louis’s so in love with him.  
  
“I think we should head home,” Harry whispers, and Louis nods and lets go of his hand.  
  
They both approach their daughters, lift them off the carpet, and while Louis puts Annie to bed, Harry collects Mer’s things and carries her downstairs.  
  
Louis walks them out to their car, where Harry puts his sleepy daughter in her safety seat and then kisses Louis goodbye on the corner of his mouth.  
  
“Hey Lou?” he calls before getting behind the wheel. Louis hums, and Harry continues, “I think it’s high time Annie visited Mer’s house. Gemma could watch the girls tomorrow. And we could go somewhere together, just the two of us?”  
  
He smiles shyly, and Louis want to kiss him senseless.  
  
“Are you asking me out?” he asks playfully and laughs.  
  
“Are you saying yes?” Harry asks back and tilts his head, and Louis can’t take it anymore, steps forward and kisses him over the car door, tangling his fingers in his hair.  
  
“I am,” he whispers into his lips, kisses him again and makes himself step away.  
  
Harry nods, gets into the car and drives away after waving goodbye.  
  
Louis stands there for some time, just watches the car and touches his lips, still warm after the kiss.  
  
And let everyone know about it.

***

The next day Louis doesn’t even get to the school gates before he sees Harry and the girls on the playground near the entrance, he stops for a second and examines the boy hungrily, notices his sinfully tight black jeans, white dress shirt buttoned up to the very top, thin grey blazer with a red handkerchief in the breast pocket, and inhales deeply, surprised by his own nerves. _It’s Harry, for fuck’s sake_.  
  
“Somebody stole my child!” he exclaims in a shocked tone, and Annie squeals, running to hug him together with Mer, laughing loudly. He hunches down just in time to catch them both in his arms, lifting them off the ground and twirling around, making them laugh even louder.  
  
Harry’s smile is so wide when he approaches them with two small backpacks in his hand. When Louis lets the girls go, they continue their discussion of the latest cartoon episode, and Louis steps closer to Harry, tilting his head and smiling.  
  
“Hi,” Harry exhales, and his eyes are sparkling so bright it’s impossible to look away, “you look stunning.”  
  
“So do you,” Louis replies immediately, steps even closer and adds, “hi.”  
  
He takes Annie’s bag from Harry, making their hands touch intentionally, strokes his palm with his fingers and then steps away.  
  
Harry breathes out and shakes his head, and when Louis turns around and tells Annie that she’s coming over to Mer’s today, Harry grins and heads to the car, lightly slapping Louis’s ass in his black slacks. The girls are too happy to notice anything, and Louis just gulps, letting out a breath and almost dropping his daughter’s backpack. _This will be interesting_.

They leave the girls with Gemma, who hugs Louis and pats his shoulder, then stops them on the porch, kisses Harry’s cheek, fixes his jacket and says with a completely straight face, “don’t be out too long,” and then adds, “hubby.”  
  
Harry honks out a laugh, and Louis hides his face in his hands and sighs exasperatedly. Gemma giggles and closes the door behind them.  
  
“I can’t believe you told her!” Louis exclaims, but Harry just grins and shrugs his shoulders.

They go to a small restaurant not far from Harry’s place, get a table near the window, order a glass of wine each and talk. Their conversation is easy over the appetizers and main course, and when Harry finishes his bœuf bourguignon, he puts his fork down and looks at Louis, his gaze serious and focused.  
  
“Louis,” he starts and stays silent, and Louis frowns a little.  
  
“Harry? Everything alright?” he laughs a little, but also lowers his utensils, giving the boy in front of him his undivided attention.  
  
“We need to decide whether we will tell the girls about this,” he gestures between them and continues, “because, you know, Mer already considers you her second best friend after Annie, and I don’t know whether that’s good or bad, I’ve never been in a situation like this before, and I don’t know whether we should hide what’s happening between us from her and Annie or-“  
  
“Harry,” Louis interrupts him, “breathe.”  
  
Harry blinks slowly and breathes out, brushing his hair back with his hand.  
  
“Sorry,” he says softly and smiles curtly at Louis.  
  
“I don’t think we should hide anything,” Louis says tentatively because he, just like the boy in front of him, has never thought about what would happen when his and Annie’s life is joined by someone new. Someone permanent, “Annie adores you, and I think she talks about you almost as often as she does about your daughter and- I know you’re scared of hurting them both if we- if this doesn’t work out, but lying to them, hiding this from them- that’s not something I want either.”  
  
Harry is quiet for some time, biting his lower lip, and Louis waits patiently, finishing his serving of coq au vin.  
  
“Well, then we only have one option,” Harry eventually says seriously, and Louis lifts his gaze slowly, not knowing what to expect. Harry explains, “we need to make this work out.”  
  
He is smiling, and Louis laughs, the sudden worry leaving his chest as fast as it emerged, and gently kicks Harry underneath the table with the toe of his dress shoe, which makes Harry arch his brows and look at him from underneath his eyelashes, and Louis thinks, _what did I do to deserve this_ , reaches out and intertwines his fingers with Harry’s right on top of the table.

They share the dessert and when they get back to Harry’s, Louis kisses him so slow and deep that Harry’s knees turn to jelly and he needs to lean on the front door.

***

A couple of days later Harry needs to work late, and Gemma with their mum and stepdad are out of town, so he asks Louis to pick Mer up together with Annie and watch her until he gets back, and Louis, of course, says yes.  
  
Mer and Annie are ecstatic, and Louis makes them lunch, gives them some ice-cream, then pours them hot tea, and all three of them settle in the living room to play. Louis entertains the girls and can’t stop imagining what it would be like to always come to school to pick up two kids instead of one.  
  
The girls are discussing the pros and cons of different dolls in Annie’s collection and Louis is pouring himself some more tea when the doorbell rings. He opens it with a smile on his face expecting to see sparkling eyes and messy curls but-  
  
“Mum?”  
  
“Hello, darling,” Jay smiles, and at that moment the girls run out of the living room, yelling “Harry!” and “Papa!”, but they both stop in their tracks when they see a different person at the door.  
  
“Grandma!” Annie exclaims, getting over the surprise quickly, and hugs Jay tightly.  
  
“Hey, petal,” she says, hugging her back, and turns her attention to the other girl, “I see you have guests?”  
  
Jay smiles kindly and hunches down, and Mer comes a little closer.  
  
“This is Mer!” Annie replies excitedly and takes her friend’s hand, “she is my best friend!”  
  
“Hello,” Mer says quietly and smiles at the woman. Jay says hello back and lifts her eyes at Louis, staying hunched at the girls’ level.  
  
“And who is Harry?”  
  
Before Louis has time to answer, Mer does it for him.  
  
“Harry is my papa!”  
  
“Daddy and Harry kiss!” Annie giggles, and she and Mer run back to the living room, both laughing into their hands.  
  
Louis just rubs his eyes and exhales, looking at his mum.  
  
“I can explain?” he tries, but she just shakes her head.  
  
“Kitchen,” she orders softly, and Louis follows her obediently.

“Are you sure about this, Boo?” Jay asks after they’ve each finished a cup of tea and Louis has told her the short version of their story.  
  
“I don’t know, mum,” he admits and lowers his head, “he is wonderful, you’ll see, he’s just- just like the sun, so bright, and warm, and his relationship with Annie- I’ve never seen her like that with anyone outside the family. And she adores Mer, and Mer adores me, and we all- We all just fit so well together, we’ve clicked since day one, just like- just like a real family.”  
  
He smiles, and Jay smiles back, nods, urging him to continue.  
  
“I’m in love with him, mum,” he whispers, and it’s the first time he says it out loud, and it sounds too soon and too serious, but it’s the truth and he can’t change a thing, “and I don’t know if he feels anything in return, but we’ve talked about all the possible consequences, and we’re both ready, so- we’re trying.”  
  
Someone rings the doorbell, and Jay just nods and smiles into her cup, grabs the dishes and brings them to the sink while Louis opens the door.  
  
This time it’s Harry at the door, and he’s smiling so wide and bright, and the girls run at him again, yelling and hugging his legs while he pats their heads and shoulders, and Louis tries to warn him.  
  
“Harry, I know that this is all quite soon, but the things is-“  
  
“Grandma is here!” Annie exclaims, and she and Mer disappear into the living room again, and Harry is looking at him without moving, his mouth half open, eyes looking even bigger because of the surprise, and he doesn’t have time to process the information or say anything back before Jay comes out from behind Louis.  
  
“You must be Harry,” she smiles warmly, extending her hand to him.  
  
“Good evening, Mrs. Tomlinson,” Harry greets her, his back straight and his hand shaking Jay’s, face serious and still a little scared. Louis doesn’t know whether he should be laughing or crying.  
  
“Please, call me Jay,” the woman says, tugging at his hand and pulling him into a careful hug, “You must be hungry, right? Come in, take your coat off, we’ll make lasagne.”  
  
And that’s how Louis ends up at his kitchen island, watching his mum and his boyfriend make lasagne and a light vegetable salad while talking about cooking, baking, kids. Harry tells Jay all about Mer, and she shares stories about her big family, and they laugh, moving around each other in the kitchen like they’ve been doing it for years, and Louis feels like he isn’t getting enough air, his heart fluttering, and he can’t contain the love filling his body. Harry keeps sending warm smiles his way, includes him in his stories, asks “right, Lou?” and “isn’t it, babe?” and gives him some of the sauce and meat to try, and just feeds him some cheese and vegetables, and Louis is sure that by the late evening he will burst from this feeling of being domestic, this feeling of being a real _family_.

After dinner it’s only 7pm but the girls are already lying on the couch with Jay, falling asleep in her arms while an old movie plays on TV.  
  
“Go take a walk, boys,” Jay whispers and pulls Mer closer when she rolls down the couch cushion, “you’re always busy with the kids, need some time for yourselves. Go! I can handle them, trust me.”  
  
Harry turns to Louis, and he shrugs, so they both get up, put on their coats and shoes and say bye to Jay, who whispers back, “see you tomorrow morning!”  
  
Harry coughs, flustered, and Louis laughs and pulls him outside.  
  
“Sorry for not giving you a warning,” Louis says a bit later.  
  
“It’s alright,” Harry assures him and smiles, intertwines their hands and matches their steps, “she’s great. I see where you and Annie get it from.”  
  
Louis giggles and squeezes Harry’s palm, feels his phone vibrate in his pocket, the message from his mum reading, “he definitely feels something in return.”  
  
Louis dims the screen quickly and puts the phone away, but his stomach is in knots and his smile is so wide his face hurts.  
  
He stops Harry, tugging at his arm, and the boy turns to him, face calm and content, and Louis is so in love with him he can’t breathe. Louis pulls him closer and kisses sweetly, tasting the ice-cream on his tongue, tangling his fingers in his hair, the other hand sliding underneath his coat to touch his warm back.  
  
Harry returns the kiss willingly, bites Louis’s lip, the kiss turning deeper, more heated, and Harry slides his hand lower, gripping his ass and making Louis groan, tightens his hold so their groins press together, and Louis exhales sharply, tugs at Harry’s hair, and Harry can’t take it anymore.  
  
He breaks the kiss and breathes right into Louis’s mouth.  
  
“Let’s go to mine.”  
  
Louis can’t do much but nod several times, kiss him again and then pull him back to the car.

Harry has an indecently huge bed, and Louis pushes the boy onto it immediately, climbs into his lap and smiles like a madman, because he can’t believe that this gorgeous boy is lying beneath him, licking his lips and biting the flesh, looking at him from underneath his lashes with a gaze full of lust, moving his hips up, unable to stand the suspense any longer.  
  
Louis takes his own shirt off, their coats long forgotten in the backseat of Harry’s car, then does the same with Harry’s t-shirt, strokes his palms up and down the toned body, moves his hips in tight circles, driving the boy underneath him insane.  
  
“Fuck, you’re gorgeous,” Louis whispers and unbuckles Harry’s belt.  
  
“Lou,” Harry breathes out and drops his head on the sheets, his neck so deliciously open that Louis can’t stop himself from putting his lips on it and leaving a small pink spot underneath his chin that will turn dark come morning.  
  
He unzips Harry’s jeans, peels them off just enough, grabs his hips and squeezes, kisses as deep as he can, then starts trailing kisses down his neck and chest and lower.  
  
Harry giggles a little, kneading Louis’s ass and whispering, “your mum knows we’re having sex right now,” then giggles again. Louis almost growls in response.  
  
“Please, do not talk about my mother right now, Harry,” he bites one of his hipbones, then pulls off his pants.

Later, they’re lying on the soft pillows, completely naked, their legs intertwined, hair a mess and bodies covered in a light sheen of sweat. They’re both breathing heavy, coming back to reality, tired and happy, smiles wide on their faces.  
  
Louis turns and lies half on top of Harry, his chin on the boy’s chest, both looking at each other, the room quiet except for their exhales and rare cars outside. Harry traces shapes on Louis’s spine, and Louis thumbs at his side.  
  
“I’m in love with you,” Louis whispers, and he doesn’t know why he suddenly decided to admit it, but it’s true, and the moment is perfect, and Harry’s eyes widen so comically, and his smile widens even more, and Louis doesn’t regret a thing.  
  
“And I,” Harry replies and flips them suddenly, Louis underneath him, “am in love with you.”  
  
Harry kisses him gently and softly, but Louis hugs his hips with his legs, pulls closer to make their naked bodies touch from top to bottom, and Harry sighs, deepens the kiss and explores the boy underneath him again, palms sliding on warm skin, fingers getting lost in messy locks.  
  
Louis moans, needy and low, moves his hips, and Harry bites his shoulder, and the night is just starting. 

In the morning, when they get back to Louis’s, their eyes are bright in a new way, they’re both limping a little, and their shirts do nothing to hide the dark spots on their necks and collarbones.  
  
Jay is just calling the girls for breakfasts when they enter the hall, and Mer and Annie greet them like they haven’t seen each other for weeks. But Annie doesn’t want to only hug Louis, and Mer doesn’t want to only hug Harry, so they pick their daughters up and huddle together, the girls between them, hugging them both around their necks and telling them about their evening, and it’s so right and warm, and Louis wants to remember this moment and cherish it his whole life. And everything is good.

*** _1,5 years later_ ***

Louis doesn’t like the end of the month, hates it even, because endless paperwork makes him stay in the office late and he barely makes it home for dinner. He parks his car, opens the front door and a sweet smell of baking instantly hits his nostrils. Apple tart, his favourite. He puts his keys in the bowl, pulls of his shoes and unbuttons his blazer, loosens his tie and puts his briefcase near the door.  
  
That’s when he hears laughter in the living room, so he quietly steps through the arc leading from the hallway and stops, leans on the wall, watching the room.  
  
There’s Harry sitting in the middle of their cream coloured carpet, his hair, even longer now, is unevenly braided, decorated with pins and hair clips, his white t-shirt has pulled up, showing his lower back. Between his legs there’s Jerry, a Jack Russell puppy, newest addition to their family.  
  
On his sides there are Annie and Mer, both wearing colourful crowns. There’re various superhero toys strewn around in the circle between their legs, and they seem to be saving the world at the moment.  
  
Louis smiles and greets his family softly, getting loud exclaims in response. The girls are too engrossed in the game to stand up, so they continue their mission after waving at him enthusiastically. Harry just turns his body to him slightly, not wanting to wake up the dog, and smiles so stunningly it takes Louis’s breath away. Louis approaches his fiancé, kisses his head, then hugs both daughters, sits between Harry and Mer and joins their game, picking up a small hulk figurine.  
  
A little later Harry moves Jerry to the couch, and he and Louis start making dinner in the kitchen.  
  
“You made my favourite dessert,” Louis smiles, leaning on the counter.  
  
Harry steps closer, puts his hands around his waist and doesn’t leave much space between their bodies.  
  
“Anything for you, my love,” he whispers back and kisses him gently, melting in the moment, then takes the chicken out of the fridge, and they get to cooking.  
  
They act on autopilot, their movements coordinated and smooth, Louis telling him about his day at work, Harry – about his adventures with the girls. They eat together at the big wooden table, then make hot chocolate, open a bag of marshmallows and bring everything to the living room. Louis puts a Christmas movie on, Harry takes out a blanket, and they cuddle on the couch with the girls in their laps and hot cups in their hands. Harry tucks them all into one big cocoon, they watch TV and laugh, and Louis loves them so much his heart feels too big for his chest.  
  
By the end of the movie, the girls are asleep, their noses buried in their fathers’ necks, so the boys carry them to their bedroom, take turns kissing them goodnight, then clean up downstairs and retire to sleep themselves.  
  
Their bed is big and soft, and Louis falls into it, stretching contentedly. Harry lies next to him, slides his hand beneath Louis’s shirt and thumbs at the warm skin, and Louis loves him so much.  
  
“Love you,” Louis mumbles and reaches out, kisses him sweetly and smiles, caressing his fiancés cheek.  
  
“Love you more,” Harry answers even quieter. They kiss for a while, enjoying the closeness and the taste of chocolate on their tongues, but then Harry shifts his body on top of Louis, pressing him into the mattress and stroking his hands up his spine, his engagement ring cold on his heated skin, and Louis loves him so much it hurts. Harry bites his neck, leaves wet kisses on his collarbones and whispers in his ear, “shower?”  
  
Louis groans and pulls him in even closer, moves his hips deliciously and bites his lip.  
  
“Later. Let’s make a mess first,” he flips them, takes Harry’s shirt off and pushes him into the bed with his hands and his hips, getting a drawn out moan out of him, kisses deeply, pulls at his hair and _loves him_.

And Harry knows it very well.


End file.
